For a wrestling fan, Wrestlemania weekend is their model of Comic-Con (sure, we all know there are wrestlers at Comedian-Con too. Don’t spoil this analogy). Whereas it’s WWE’s premier occasion, organizations from world wide converge at its location (this yr is in New Orleans) to showcase precisely what the artwork wrestling is all about. A few of you would possibly even be invited to a Wrestlemania viewing occasion, which a variety of the instances embody swimming pools as to who will win every match. If you happen to’ve by no means watched wrestling earlier than however get invited to a celebration, allow us to show you how to out and amaze your mates by utilizing our predictions to win some chilly onerous money (or no matter prizes can be found, like a Goal reward card).
Wrestlemania Ladies’s Battle Royal (Winner: Becky Lynch)
The WWE Ladies’s Division has gone by a renaissance the previous few years. What was as soon as seen as a novelty act has change into not solely a foremost a part of the present, however the primary cause followers tune in. In one other yr of Ladies’s Division firsts, they may have a Wrestlemania Battle Royal. For this match, we select the Irish Lass Kicker, Becky Lynch. It’s time famous person from Smackdown bought some love, because it appears like RAW has been dominating every thing as of late.
Noobs: Inform them you select the “Steampunk Superhero” as your winner.
Andre the Large Memorial Battle Royal (Winner: Dolph Ziggler)
On the lads’s aspect, they’ve the Andre the Large Memorial Battle Royal. If you’re not in a match on the primary card, the Battle Royal nonetheless provides you an opportunity to take part in Wrestlemania. Despite the fact that everybody has a fair shot this yr, we really feel that Dolph Ziggler will pull out the win right here.
Noobs: Go together with “The man that appears like he’s in Van Halen.”
WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali (Winner: Cedric Alexander)
This match is the finals of the WWE Cruiserweight match that has been happening since January. Each Cedric and Mustafa are nice within the ring, however we’ve to present the sting to Cedric Alexander. Don’t be stunned if that is simply the primary in a sequence of matches buying and selling this title backwards and forwards. This has the makings of an important long-term feud.
Noobs: You’ll be able to’t actually say “The man that does all of the flips.” It should NOT slim it down. For this one, simply say you assume Cedric will win.
RAW Ladies’s Championship: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax (Winner: Nia Jax)
It is a nice instance of the WWE’s long-term storytelling. For years Nia and Alexa have been pals till it was revealed that Alexa was merely utilizing Nia to get forward in her profession. It’s a easy “betrayal turns to revenge” storyline, however typically the most straightforward of premises can return the perfect outcomes. We’re going with Nia for this one, as it’s time for Alexa to get her comeuppance.
Noobs: Inform everybody you “Don’t need Harley Quinn to win,” or use one other method that doesn’t rhyme.
RAW Tag-Workforce Championship: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman and ??? (Winners: Braun and ???)
After profitable a tag-team battle royal by himself, Braun Strowman now has the chance to win the tag-team titles in opposition to Sheamus and Cesaro, a.ok.a. The Bar. He will get to select his tag-team associate, which we predict would be the drifter himself, Elias. We’re unsure concerning the set-up for this one, because it considerably places a damaging gentle on the tag-team titles. All championships must be taken severely, and whereas typically gimmick matches are okay there needs to be a line (or bar, on this case). Regardless, Braun and his associate will change into the brand new tag champs.
Noobs: The Hulk goes to win. For bonus factors, when Sheamus comes out (the man with the mohawk) ask, “Hey, is that Bebop?”
United States Championship: Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev (Winner: Rusev)
4 of the most important (actually) stars on Smackdown will likely be vying for america Championship. Sure, we perceive that solely one of many males within the match is definitely FROM america, however belief us, for those who Google “United States Championship” you’ll see that it’s positively NOT a prerequisite. We’re going to go together with the namesake for “Rusev Day” right here. Over the previous few months, his character has gone by what’s referred to as “The Rock” syndrome. He’s imagined to be a heel (unhealthy man), however as a result of he’s simply so darn entertaining, there’s no alternative however to cheer for him. A win right here might push him over to the aspect of fine.
Noobs: Ask your mates “What’s Rusev Day?” 30 minutes later when they’re accomplished making an attempt to elucidate it, say “Okay, I’ll select him.”
Intercontinental Championship: The Miz vs. Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins (Winner: The Miz)
For the Intercontinental Title (which accurately means “between continents, so what’s the distinction between this and a world title?), this would be the upset win of the night. The Miz has not solely change into one of many strongest characters within the WWE as of late, however his run with the championship has made it arguably an important title within the promotion. With the build-up to this match between the three characters, Miz retaining the title would make its significance that a lot stronger.
Noobs: You need “The Actual World dude” to win, though “the man that appears like Venom/Carnage appears cool, too.”
Smackdown Tag Workforce Championship: Bludgeon Brothers vs. The Usos vs. The New Day (Winners: The New Day)
In all wrestling, no tag crew division is best than Smackdown’s. The New Day and the Usos have been placing on wrestling clinics in opposition to one another for the final two years. If you happen to add within the Bludgeon Brothers, you’ve got the makings of the darkish horse match of the night time. Whereas all three groups have an equal shot, the New Day goes to take this one, with Xavier Woods getting the pin (in my private opinion, Xavier is essentially the most underrated wrestler within the WWE).
Noobs: “I’ll take the cartoon characters. They appear candy.” As of this writing, we’re not positive what online game or TV present the New Day will likely be basing their outfits on, however relaxation assured it will likely be superior.
Smackdown Ladies’s Championship: Charlotte Aptitude vs. Asuka (Winner: Asuka)
Out of all of the title matches happening throughout Wrestlemania, that is in all probability essentially the most anticipated. The Empress Asuka places her 2 half yr undefeated streak on the road as she goes up in opposition to the usual bearer of your complete WWE’s ladies’s division, Charlotte Flair. This one was powerful as a result of both victory would make sense. Both Asuka maintains her streak, or Charlotte cements her place on the high of the meals chain. By a nostril, we’re going with Asuka to hold the torch for some time.
Noobs: “That masked girl appears INSANE. I select her.”
Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn (Winners: Owens and Zayn)
If Kevin and Sami win, they get their jobs again after having been not too long ago fired from Smackdown for attacking each Shane and Daniel. It solely is smart that they’d win. What makes this match intriguing is whether or not or not both Shane or Daniel betrays the opposite. If we had to decide on, we’ll go together with Shane. A McMahon being a superb man for this lengthy HAS to have a breaking level. This match can also be vital as a result of it will likely be Daniel Bryan’s first match again in two years after getting medically cleared to wrestle. Anticipate the YES! chants to echo all through all of NOLA.
Noobs: “These two appear to be full jerks. I see them someway profitable.” “Which two? All of them look form of snarky.” “The one with the foolish hat.”
Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon (Winners: Kurt and Ronda)
If you’re going to herald somebody as large as Ronda Rousey to the WWE and have her debut on the “grandest stage of all of them,” it’s a must to have her set up how good she actually is in her first match. After some hardcore dishonest from Stephanie and HHH, Kurt and Ronda will get the victory in what must be an entertaining match.
Noobs: “Ah. HER I do know. I’ll go together with Ronda.”
John Cena vs. The Undertaker (?) (Winner: The Undertaker) (?)
Why all of the query marks? As a result of we nonetheless don’t know who if this match goes to occur. We in all probability WON’T know till Cena is standing within the ring to see if the Undertaker exhibits. SHOULD he, we’re giving him the victory. After dropping to Roman final yr and “retiring,” to return again simply to lose once more doesn’t make sense or give the Undertaker justice.
Noobs: “Oooh! I noticed Blockers this weekend! I select Cena.” “No, you don’t. Select the Undertaker.” “However..” “CHOOSE THE UNDERTAKER.” “Okay! Geez…”
WWE Championship: AJ Types vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura)
These two gents wrestled in Japan a couple of years in the past in an incredible match. They get to go at it once more, this time on the most important platform in all of wrestling, and for it’s largest prize, the WWE Championship. Shinsuke gained their final encounter, so an argument will be made it’s AJ’s time. After a variety of considering, we nonetheless see Shinsuke going 2-Zero, and taking the WWE Championship. Whereas we mentioned that the Smackdown tag title match will likely be a darkish horse match of the night time, THIS match is the odds-on favourite.
Noobs: “Is violinist? Is that an orchestra? What’s going on right here? What’s together with his hair? I select that man.”
Common Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns (Winner: Roman Reigns)
Within the WWE’s newest try and put Roman Reigns within the high spot, he’s going up in opposition to essentially the most dominant champion the corporate has had over the previous few years, the Beast Brock Lesnar. This yr is just a little completely different, because the storyline they created to hype this match made Reigns a personality we will really get behind, and never somebody who feels compelled down our throats. Now, perhaps we might have quite seen Finn Balor combat for the title, however that is what we’re getting, so we select the Huge Canine to lastly dethrone Lesnar.
Noobs: “Is that…no. Is that…AQUAMAN?!?! Oh, you KNOW I’m going with Khal Drogo all the way in which.”
Wrestlemania solely comes annually, and WWE actually makes a spectacle of it. What do you assume? Are our picks proper? Who do you’ve got in your swimming pools? Let me know on Twitter @donnielederer or pontificate within the feedback under.
A rasslin’ round-up…